A mother’s pride & prayers following Pulse shootings

Posted 7/5/16

This narrative is being written at the request of a dear friend of John Howell, who knows that I am proud of my son Dan, and I want the world to know it.

Dan always wanted to be a police officer. …

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A mother’s pride & prayers following Pulse shootings

Posted

This narrative is being written at the request of a dear friend of John Howell, who knows that I am proud of my son Dan, and I want the world to know it.

Dan always wanted to be a police officer. He proudly made this declaration to all the parents during a play performed by his kindergarten class at Park School in 1987.

Fast forward to his graduation from Toll Gate High School in 2000. With his childhood plans still firmly intact, he majored in criminal justice and often volunteered for “stings” for the Providence Police Department. As he was only 18 at the time (but looked much older), he could easily go undercover as an under-aged drinker. I was constantly being assured that nothing could go wrong.

Immediately after September 11, 2001, Dan informed me that he would be enlisting in the Army upon conclusion of his final year of studies. There isn’t a mother alive who wants to hear those words come out of their child’s mouth. He felt military service would enhance his career prospects. When the recruiter came to our house at 5:30 in the morning in May of 2002, he was certain that my son would never face any real combat.

Upon the completion of his basic training in Fort Knox, KY, Dan was assigned to the 7th Regiment unit of the 1st Cavalry Division, famously known as Garryowen, in Fort Hood, Texas. He amped up his reconnaissance training as a cavalry scout, and just when the end his two year commitment was imminent, he was “stopped-gapped” and told he was going to Iraq. On March 19, 2003, President George W. Bush had announced “To all of the men and women of the United States armed forces, the peace of a troubled world and the hopes of an oppressed people now depend on you. That trust is well placed.” My heart sank.

In February of 2004, I flew to Texas to assist Dan with the preparation for his deployment. We rented a storage locker for his personal vehicle, packed up any other important belongings, and said goodbye. I was so fearful, but I was proud.

I did not hear anything from Dan for what seemed like an eternity… the communication network had not yet been established and he was with the Marines in Fallujah… I did not know that then, but had heard things on the news, and made very accurate assumptions of where he might be and what he might be doing. Men he knew had been seriously injured and had lost their lives. I thought often of how naïve and innocent I had been about the realities of war, and it made me appreciate every soldier who had ever served to protect this great country we live in. A safeguarding instinct grew inside me; of this country, of our soldiers and I was quick to defend them. I bonded with all who had a loved one in the military, I gained a new respect and a heartfelt gratitude for all our veterans, and I thanked every serviceman I ever saw in uniform. Those who were part of the military community shared concerns, prayers and tears. We cared, we hurt, but most of all, we loved our soldiers. And we were proud.

His deployment was an agonizingly long thirteen months. When he came home in the spring of 2005, I was so grateful that my son had returned to me safe and sound. I was one of the lucky ones.

Upon his return, John Howell had asked to interview Dan and give him some well-deserved recognition. He politely declined. And I was proud.

Fast forward to his employment with the Orlando Police Department in 2008. Dan had begun his lifelong dream as a Law Enforcement Officer on the Orlando Police Department shortly after his return from Iraq, and was selected to participate on the Orlando Swat Team. He worked very hard to become a professional, dedicated, and well-trained officer. Orlando is sometimes viewed as the entertainment capital of the world, but there was undercurrent of a population that kept him very busy keeping Orlando and the many tourists who visited safe.

I talked to Dan on the afternoon of June 11, 2016. He had just woken up from a long night of work responding to the Christina Grimmie “active shooter” incident. He was angry that such a thing could happen and that so many innocent young people had been exposed to such a hateful crime. Something had to be done. Our country was falling apart. I listened and supported his sentiments. I prayed that our country would never have to experience another horrific incident again. Our conversation ended. He had to prepare for another night of work.

Little did we know that later in the evening Orlando would be subjected to the deadliest mass shooting in US history.

I had woken up at 3:00AM on the morning of June 12th, unable to sleep. The headlines were about another active shooter in Orlando. How could this be? I was incredulous.

I text a message. “R U OK.” Three hours later I get a response. “WE ARE OKAY.”

Dan had responded to the Pulse first as a Patrol Officer in an immediate attempt to get as many people evacuated from another “active shooter” incident. Once back-up had arrived, he assumed the role of a SWAT officer. From there it was an attempt to save as many people as possible.

Dan never gives me too many details. I can hear all I need to know in the tone of his voice. My jaw is clenched. My nerves are raw. I want to keep him safe. I catch the next available flight to Orlando. And I am proud.

I am proud of my son and all the first responders. I am proud of the people of Orlando who are trying to honor and respect the victims and support their families. Orlando will need time to heal, will need time to reorganize strategies to keep people safe from a cowardly element of our society who seems intent upon inflicting an enormous amount of pain on an innocent population.

Hopefully there will be more of a focus on the positive accomplishments of these brave young officers. These are the people who are so deserving of our attention and recognition. This is my attempt to honor them. They are keeping us safe. I thank God for them every day.

I will be moving to Orlando sometime in the future to be with my son, and his beautiful love BethAnne.

Penny Robertson

Comments

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  • DarylAnn

    I feel your pride as I read your article. God bless all service men and women, all of their families and victims of wars and crime.

    Thursday, July 7, 2016 Report this

  • Norm88

    MS. Robertson,

    Please keep telling your sons story to whoever will listen (even to the people who won’t listen). People need to be educated that these officers are much more often than not stand up men and women with families to go home to doing a thankless job.

    Friday, July 8, 2016 Report this