Don't lose sight of what you`re graduating 'to'

By Robert Haughtaling
Posted 6/7/16

Dear Graduates, Congratulations on your big day! Your parents are proud. Family and friends will attend the long awaited celebration. And last, but not least, you get to move on and start the next adventure. All too often, when

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Don't lose sight of what you`re graduating 'to'

Posted

Dear Graduates,

Congratulations on your big day! Your parents are proud. Family and friends will attend the long awaited celebration. And last, but not least, you get to move on and start the next adventure.

All too often, when speaking of graduations, we use the words “graduation from” as opposed to “graduation to.” Graduation from creates the impression that something is over. Graduation connotes moving ahead and using learned skills to tackle new ventures. Have you graduated from or to?

Most of us never stop learning. Whether it is additional schooling, a job, new relationships, relocations, family illness, loss of a loved one, becoming a parent and more, all these offer opportunities to acquire new knowledge. This additional information gets mixed in with lessons from the past, thus creating a sense of growth and eventually wisdom (knowing how to use what you know). To a large extent the vast majority of folks live lives of to’s rather than from’s – even if the opposite is often promoted. Life continues and evolving is essential. While the past is always present, the future is where we all must go.

With all of this said, what then are you graduating to? This is a question that I cannot answer with a person, place or thing. This is a question that functions best in the realm of why’s and how’s. When the great philosopher Nietzsche asserted, “He who has a why can endure any how,” he was speaking of finding a purpose in life. Creating meaning will become your greatest challenge. So, what are you graduating to? Perhaps it is to a world of possibilities.

While a world filled with possibilities might sound exciting, choosing and risking which options to explore will help shape your path. Like painters before a canvas each of us get to choose the shapes and colors we wish to brush. We might have limits in terms of available hues and the size of our canvass – but the portrait is the responsibility of every individual. Even though unnerving, to some, there will be a degree of help along the way. This help comes in the form(s) of myths, stories and family lore. They are the bridge that links to and from. They also keep the past alive in our future. In many ways what you become is a product of the marriage between to and from.

To this day I enjoy sitting around the dinner table and listening to my parents and in-laws speak about the Depression, World War II, Korea and “the old days.” For me it is story time. It is also a wonderful opportunity to hear and feel history come alive. Listening to how others navigated through yesterday actually reinforces the commonality we share. While circumstances might be different, the desire to create a life, find love, establish a sense of worth and examine purpose are essential to all human beings. Stories provide a mythology that serves as a beacon for others. The ancient peoples used stories to bind their cultures together. Their myths and legends helped establish a sense of morality, group history and direction. Stories are important. I am hoping to have many opportunities to share mine with my kids (now adults) and grandchildren. Maybe they can use them as a compass for wherever they are going to. 

Doctor Seuss may have said it better with his book ‘Oh, The Places You’ll Go!’ but the truth of the matter is that the journey is long with many wonderful experiences, as well as those that occasionally test us to the limits. It is really up to each individual to create their Iliad and the Odyssey. We all have stories to write and have told.

Hopefully, you will return someday to pay the old school a visit. The building will most likely seem smaller. In addition, many of the teachers you once knew might have retired. However, if you continue on walking about memories will come back like a flood. You will remember a room where a fun class was taught. Upon entering the cafeteria thoughts of friends will come to mind. Wow, it seems like only yesterday. Soon it will become apparent that the four years spent in High School were a powerful part of your life’s journey. Such thoughts will bring a smile to your face. Eventually you will go back to a world where other chapters of a wonderful story will be written. There is much to look forward to.

Enjoy wherever you are going. Have a nice summer.

Robert Haughtaling is a frequent contributor to these pages and director of the East Greenwich drug program.

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