This Side Up

Looking for a delivery...by drone

John Howell
Posted 12/23/14

I had my shopping plan and a list with only one item – a drone.

The plan was simple: Wait until the Patriots-Jets game and I would be able to find a parking place anywhere, with the exception of …

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This Side Up

Looking for a delivery...by drone

Posted

I had my shopping plan and a list with only one item – a drone.

The plan was simple: Wait until the Patriots-Jets game and I would be able to find a parking place anywhere, with the exception of every sports bar. I could sacrifice the game for the perfect gift. Besides, I figured, I could catch snippets of the game wherever I went. Then, before venturing out, Carol provided some basic research. She went online and discovered I could find drones at Target and Walmart.

Why a drone?

It’s the toy my 42-year-old son, Ted, hopes to find under the tree. He’s always been intrigued by high tech gadgets (even before Jeff Bezos of Amazon disclosed the company is exploring them for delivery of items sold online). Ted was scheming how he could use one to get aerial pictures of his property and his windsurfing. There are drones that not only have cameras, but can be operated with a smartphone.

What I discovered was, even the Patriots couldn’t dissuade Christmas shoppers. The closest parking space to Target was on the other side of the Firestone store. Store aisles were just as packed. Incidentally, shopping carts should have turn signals and kids should be ticketed for switching lanes at high speed. I weaved between the stream, arriving in the general area of toys and electronics. Some shelves were already cleared, a good thing, as Target employees were restocking them and offered the hope of some assistance.

“Drones?” Ben asked, when I interrupted his attempt to replenish a shelf.

“You know,” I answered, “those helicopter-type devices with rotating blades.”

I could tell from Ben’s look that he knew what I was talking about. He reached into his pocket and pulled out what looked like a smartphone. He typed in “drone” and waited for the screen to tell him if there were any in stock. The screen was blank.

“Let’s see.”

I followed Ben to the remote control toys. Triumphantly, he pulled out a box, apparently the last drone in the store. It was the kindergarten model, the bike with training wheels when I was shopping for a Harley. I thanked him and thought I’d try my luck at Radio Shack.

That’s when I spotted Frank Flaherty, sitting on one of those benches surrounded by planters. He looked about as successful as I had been. There were no bags beside him.

He explained he was waiting for his granddaughter and her friend who were in a nearby store. I told him of my quest for a drone and he raised an issue I hadn’t considered.

“Isn’t the FAA looking to regulate those things?”

Being an Associate Supreme Court Justice, I figured Frank should know. Maybe I should be careful of finding what I wished for. I tried Radio Shack next. They were sold out.

“Everyone is looking for drones this year,” the attendant said, suggesting I go for a helicopter instead.

When he could see that wasn’t getting anywhere, he recommended a radio-controlled car. I wasn’t that desperate, yet.

I left for Walmart. At least I could navigate the aisles without being mowed down. I worked my way to the back of the store, where they have the sports and toy departments. I was in luck. There were four blue-vested associates huddled. They spotted me. Now I would be getting places.

The same blank stare Ben had given me greeted my inquiry. And just as quickly there was a glimmer of recognition.

“I think we’ve been cleaned out,” was the report.

But to be sure, I was guided to the shelf that once displayed drones.

“So, what’s selling?”

“Well, I work the sports department,” replied the associate. “And it’s ammo.”

On Sunday alone, he estimated he had sold about $800 in ammo. The big demand is for .22 caliber. 22s are the least expensive and the associate suggested that is what’s being used for target practice. Unlike other states, Walmart does not sell guns in Rhode Island.

On the way out, I made a detour to the electronic department, expecting to find a wall of TVs broadcasting the game. There was nothing of the sort. Advertisements for items on sale flickered on all the screens. No wonder the associates were huddled. I should have asked them the score.

On a long shot, I drove to Benny’s. After all, they have everything you need. They did have drones, but they flew off the shelves as soon as advertised in last Sunday’s circular. There had been no new deliveries.

Guess I’ll be shopping Christmas Eve. It wouldn’t feel like Christmas unless I do.

And if we don’t cross paths…Merry Christmas.

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