* * ½
We really want the Transformers movies to succeed. We have friends who work at Hasbro, and the toy manufacturer is a big part of the Rhode Island economy. But why does Hollywood have to make such tedious movies with enough sensory overload to scramble our brains into mush?
Mark Wahlberg plays Cade Yeager, a free-spirited, broke inventor who buys an old truck that turns into a Transformer...and not just any Transformer. This is the big guy, Optimus Prime.
It has been five years since the Battle of Chicago, which destroyed the city and turned off the alien Transformers to saving the stupid humans who just never seem to get it.
Stanley Tucci plays a businessman who has salvaged all of the remaining evil Decepticons, while Kelsey Grammer plays a CIA bigwig who wants to wipe out all the remaining Autobots, who have turned themselves into cars and trucks and are in hiding.
Yeager is an overprotective father to his teenage daughter (Nicola Peltz), who has taken up with a 20-year-old free spirit, much to Dad’s displeasure. He doesn’t mind putting his daughter at risk with the Transformers, but she better not get close to her boyfriend. Too much of the movie is spent with this silly situation.
The rest of the movie is spent in endless, tedious battles between men and machines, men and men and machines and machines. Just when you think the movie is winding down, another battle occurs.
The special effects and the 3D (if you want to pay extra) are very good but become repetitive. The highlights of the movie are the funny comments of the Autobots who make fun of the stupid humans.
The movie keeps emphasizing that there are good and bad humans, as well as good and bad Transformers. Often, it is difficult to determine who is who and what is what.
Cities, buildings, cars and everything in sight is destroyed during the endless battles, but surprisingly, you never see human beings in the structures or vehicles. You never see a drop of blood. If you can sit there for nearly three hours and survive this overkill, good luck.
Rated PG-13, with some profanity and intense action.