Too young to give up

By John Howell
Posted 1/21/16

Frances Amico did something that few people at her age would contemplate. She gave up the ease of an assisted living facility to return to living on her own. And now, at 101, she still thinks she …

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Too young to give up

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Frances Amico did something that few people at her age would contemplate. She gave up the ease of an assisted living facility to return to living on her own. And now, at 101, she still thinks she made the right decision.

“I didn’t want to be waited on,” Frances said in an interview Saturday at her apartment at the Greenwood Housing Complex. “I was always on my own.” And besides, she adds, assisted living was expensive.

But that’s not to say Frances wants to be alone. She has a lot of friends – all younger than she – and while she doesn’t think of them as a reason for her longevity, it’s apparent that Judy, April, Betty and many more are important to her. She remembers, too, the many friends she has outlived.

“They’re all special,” she says.

The only one of eight children still living, Frances grew up in the coal-mining town of Carbondale, Pa. She recalls Carbondale as a small, close-knit community where people knew each other and cared for one another. Her parents both came from Sicily, and Italian was what they spoke at home. It was her first language. Meals were a family event where everyone gathered around the table, shared stories, and talked about what they were doing. Frances finds it a far cry from the on-the-go meals people have today and believes it’s one reason why families break up and young people feel lost.

She also feels many people keep to themselves, although with today’s technology they may feel they are in constant contact with their friends.

“I think people in America have to open up a bit,” she says. “If I am nice to you, you are going to be nice to me.”

It’s not likely that Frances will have a Facebook page or that she’ll be tweeting news of her crocheting, which she still enjoys doing, or the book she has just read. She doesn’t have a computer, and she has no intention of getting one – not at 101, she says.

Yet Frances has never considered herself too old to start something new. At the age of 63, she went back to school to get her GED. The fun part about it was that her late husband, Jerome, went to class with her.

“We went to school at night together,” she says with delight. “You know,” she adds, “you have to laugh at yourself.”

Frances was married for 28 years. They didn’t have children of their own but adopted a boy from Italy through a Catholic agency, a process that took two years. It was another two years before the adoption was completed, and another two before he could become an American citizen.

“I always wanted to be a mother, so I’m a mother,” she says.

From Carbondale, Frances moved to New York City, where she found work. She ended up working for MetLife, and it was her job with the insurance company that brought her to Rhode Island. She talks fondly of the company that was so much a part of her life.

Making it to 101 hasn’t been easy. Frances has successfully fought cancer several times. One of the most challenging battles was a tumor behind her nose. After more than 20 radiation treatments failed to eliminate the growth, she underwent surgery. She runs her hand over the scar, which is hardly noticeable. And then there was the episode when her walker slipped out from her as she was getting out of bed. She was 99. She fell to the floor, breaking a wrist and with pain shooting through her body.

“I cried and I prayed, dear God get me to my Life Line.”

It took her an hour to wriggle to the point where she could reach her Life Line with her foot and summon help.

When she got the call, the operator quizzed her on her condition, asking if she wanted a rescue.

“I asked them to call April, because I didn’t want anyone to see me without my wig,” she recalls.

After retiring at 70, Frances volunteered. She hooked up with Volunteers of Warwick Schools, assisting at Park School. She was named a volunteer of the year. She was also a member of the Retired Senior Volunteer Program (RSVP) when run by Clarice Gothberg.

Frances finds it somewhat amazing that her age has made her a celebrity. It was Betty who convinced her that she should be interviewed for this story. She says people are incredulous when they learn her age. They want to know her answer to a long life.

“I have to laugh at myself. I talk to myself but I haven’t gotten any answers yet…but then that’s the only way I’m going to get the right answer.”

Maybe so. But then, it could also be her tenacity.

“I’m too young to give up,” she said.

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