When I was in elementary school, I loved the anticipation of Valentine’s Day, when we’d bring valentines from home and put them in a big “mailbox” decorated with paper hearts. The box would loom upon the teacher’s desk, and all day I’d sneak glances at it, waiting for that magic moment when the valentines were delivered to the anxious students.

My parents did not have a lot of money, and even if they did, I am sure my dad would not have wasted it on such things as store bought Valentine’s Day cards. However, I took delight in designing and decorating valentines for my fellow classmates. Using construction paper, stickers and crayons, my pictures were not perfect and my words were misspelled, but my creations always pleased me, especially because there would be a lollypop attached, (saved up from many trips to the bank!) Each one was individualized and different. Of course, my drawings were coarse and generally they all looked alike, but in my heart (and my memory), they were personalized and perfect!

For such anticipation, one would think I thoroughly enjoyed the day, sipping on the plastic glass of fruit punch and eating the heart shaped cookies provided by the teacher. But in elementary school, it always turned out to be a day of huge disappointment. I always received many valentines because I was friendly to everyone, but it wasn’t for me that I was disappointed. It saddened my heart that such a mountainous pile of valentines would sit upon my desk when other, less popular children, would get so few, or…shudder…none. My own face reddened with anger and embarrassment for them, so I would inconspicuously split up mine to share with the students who were not so fortunate. If it was done correctly, many of the children thought they had received valentines from the other students.

Many years have passed, and I am now a parent, and even a grandparent. When my children were in elementary school, I taught them to be considerate to everyone in their class, (even if they didn’t like them or they weren’t popular.) For days like Valentine’s Day, they were to sympathize with other children’s feelings and make sure that there was a card for every single student in their rooms, especially the “special ed” students who may have joined their class from time to time (and, undoubtedly, would be joining the class for the small Valentine’s Day’s festivities.) Because these children were not “regulars” in their class, it was easy to forget about them when the time for purchasing Valentines came around. Inclusion in my household was practiced even before it became a buzzword in schools. It was not expensive to include everyone, a few penny valentines and pieces of candy attached. But it was a priceless lesson to care for others no matter what their position is in life, popular or unpopular, with a disability or without, rich or poor, pretty, or not too pretty, saint or sinner. (Yes, they had to give a valentine to the kiddo who was always in trouble, talked fresh to the teacher, and pushed them down on the ground during recess.) That lesson on Valentine’s Day was a life lesson for them, and my children have grown into adults who are considerate of others.

It was a life lesson for me, too, one practiced to this day even if Valentine’s Cards are not involved. Acceptance is a way of life that I learned in elementary school. Consideration of everyone’s feelings is important, and even more important when those feelings and their lifestyle might be different than my own.