A lifetime of small moments, part 3

Posted 10/18/22

Having spent an entire death-defying day cringing on a couch while a catastrophic hurricane swirled like a freight train around me, it makes it more imperative to get my life facts in order.  An …

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A lifetime of small moments, part 3

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Having spent an entire death-defying day cringing on a couch while a catastrophic hurricane swirled like a freight train around me, it makes it more imperative to get my life facts in order.  An obituary could be needed at any time! What would I like to tell people about me?

I have always been a clumsy person, although I am not sure that is something that should be included!  I am average looking, having long ago been reassured by my mother that my beauty is on the inside.  I love public speaking, making my presentations humorous and interactive.  I love cute dogs, such as Lhasa Apsos or Golden Doodles, although Hubby is allergic, so our home is dog-free. I concede that my home is “lived in”, that is, it is not spotless.  (I think I may be allergic to housework.) However, “it is what it is” is my mantra about cleaning. 

After accepting myself, it became easy to accept my children as they are; Francis, with his vision impairment that he has accepted as a fact of life, Dinora, with her tiny stature but big personality, Steven with his ADHD and obsessive-compulsive disorder that has our house looking like a reptile sanctuary, Angel, whose early childhood abuse has tainted his success as an adult no matter how hard he tries, and Marie, my daughter who is deaf, are all just fine the way they are.  Sure, as a mother, it might be great to see Angel as a successful banker, Steven as a science teacher, or Dinora as a petite, dark skinned model, but the fact that they are not these things does not diminish their worth in any way.  They are my perfect children for whom I have been cheerleader, nurse, friend, guidance counselor, and, most importantly, loving mother.  My effect on them should live on long after I am deceased.

I am so fortunate in that I have always had jobs that I love.  Starting out as a waitress at Newport Creamery, my cheerful attention to the customers outweighed the number of sundae glasses I broke. My first “professional” job was working at the RI Association for the Blind where I learned to do American Sign Language finger spelling for the few workers there who were deaf blind.  Because they could not see regular sign language, the words would have to be spelled out letter by letter. (Joke on me…when, as foster parents, we were called to take in a foster child who was profoundly deaf, I said “Sure, if I don’t know the ASL word, I can always fingerspell it.”  Little did I know that Marie was developmentally disabled and unable to spell!) Working for the State of Rhode Island as a social worker, both with individuals with developmental disabilities and vision impairments, fulfilled my life’s goal to help others. Using the same innate creative writing skills that eased me through college, I then began to write grants and develop programs. This skill has come in handy after Hurricane Ian because, while visiting my friend down here in Florida, I have been able to submit grants to FEMA on behalf of families who have lost their homes due to the hurricane. Grants are easy for me to fill out because I understand the information for which they are asking, but most homeowners, or should I say traumatized home losers, are already flustered enough from the experience that they cannot think straight. It was just a coincidence that I was in the right place at the right time to be able to so, (or IS it a coincidence?) Writing has always been great fun for me and getting the money to help others is just the icing on the cake, so to speak.

Of course, one of my biggest accomplishments is my marriage to Hubby for forty plus years.  Being married takes a lot of work and compromise. Instead of throwing in the towel and getting divorced as many couples do, we worked through our problems, and are more in love now that ever.

My spiritual side, inherited from my mom, has served me well all these years. I know that there is a Greater Being and lived my life according to the mantra to love others.  I am intrinsically happy. With the exception of stupid Hurricane Ian, life has been a joyride and I have no complaints. I am ready to have my obituary written.  Just make sure they get the facts right!

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