An ordeal, but not a mini-vacation

By LINDA PETERSEN
Posted 1/29/25

My daughter, Marie, needed major surgery, so I flew in to take care of her. Since her home is quite lively—with her girlfriend, her girlfriend’s elderly mom, and three energetic young …

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An ordeal, but not a mini-vacation

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My daughter, Marie, needed major surgery, so I flew in to take care of her. Since her home is quite lively—with her girlfriend, her girlfriend’s elderly mom, and three energetic young kiddos—we decided it would be best for me to look after her while staying at a nearby hotel. I thought that part might even feel a bit fun, like a mini vacation.

I met Marie at the hospital, where her girlfriend had dropped her off before heading to her twelve-hour shift as an Amazon driver. As required by law, the hospital had arranged for an American Sign Language interpreter to assist Marie. While I’m a decent signer, I’m far from fluent, especially when it comes to medical terminology. Fortunately, the interpreter was someone who had worked with Marie before and was familiar with her mannerisms. This familiarity is crucial because interpreters are trained to convey not only words but also Marie’s nonverbal cues. For example, a shrug might be interpreted as “okay,” a frown as “no,” and a quizzical expression as a request to have the information rephrased for clarity.

The operation went smoothly, and I joined Marie and the interpreter in the recovery room, where my drowsy daughter was slowly coming out of anesthesia. While all the nurses and medical assistants we had encountered were wonderfully patient and accommodating of Marie’s disability, the discharge nurse seemed a bit frustrated by the extra time it took for the interpreter to sign the instructions as they were read aloud. At one point, the nurse flipped the paper in her lap and remarked, “This is taking too long. Can’t she just read them?” Well, no! Do other patients fresh out of surgery have to read their discharge instructions? Besides, even if she were fully alert, Marie’s lower reading level might not have allowed her to understand the medical terms accurately.

Marie was discharged and an Uber driver took us to the hotel. The hotel was very accommodating, placing our room right at the top of the elevator. This was a huge help, as Marie’s gait was slow and unsteady.     

 I did not get much sleep that first night, waking up intermittently to check on Marie or in response to her little moans. It brought me back to the days when my newborn son slept in a cradle next to my bed, and I found myself listening intently for every little breath.     

I adjusted her pillows, pulled back the covers if she was hot, and tucked her in if she felt chilly. I offered her sips of water when she was thirsty and pudding when she mentioned being hungry. I helped her out of bed to use the bathroom and made sure to give her the prescribed painkillers every six hours. By about five hours and fifty-five minutes, her moaning from the pain let me know just how much they were needed.   

 Each morning, I went downstairs to take advantage of the hotel’s complimentary breakfast. I’d carefully load up a tray with muffins, a banana for each of us, two teas, two orange juices, two bowls of cereal with milk, and, as the pièce de résistance, bowls of yogurt topped with fresh strawberries. I did not feel like I was taking advantage of the hotel because we could have eaten all that at breakfast, but with Marie’s limited post-surgery appetite, we managed to stretch it out to last the entire day.     

By the fourth day after surgery, Marie was feeling a bit better and sitting up more comfortably. I helped her out of bed to relax in a cozy chair by a sunny window, and the two of us spent time there playing independently on our iPads, playing Uno, and watching TV. We also followed her discharge instructions by walking together up and down the hotel corridor for 240 steps, the equivalent of 200 yards a day. 

As Marie’s appetite began to return, I placed a large delivery order from Walmart to ensure she had plenty to eat. The order included applesauce, pudding, microwaveable macaroni and cheese, and her favorites from the Beefaroni category. While not the healthiest options, they were comforting and worked perfectly in a pinch.

The week, however, was NOT a mini-vacation...

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